Where Healing Begins
Recently, I was given an assignment wherein I was to interview a range of people who knew me from different areas of my life. They were asked to describe what they saw as my strengths and weaknesses.
Most of their responses were similar, in that they saw me as having a bubbly outgoing personality, bringing the best out in people. I appeared confident, honest, kind and was overly generous. I was outgoing, social and well spoken. As for my weaknesses, I was seen as being far too analytical, overcautious, easily flustered, emotionally unguarded when upset, wordy, overbearing and a perfectionist.
Observing the feedback, I found it interesting that my weaknesses, were a mirrored reflection of my strengths. What I did know: the effect of both left the receiver either loving me or I drove them crazy.
I love a good debate that challenges my thinking, causes me to question preconceived ideas or conclusions based on past experiences and teachings. And it is true, that I am willing to strike up a conversation with anyone who is willing to enter into an exchange.
Sometimes, to the surprise and concern of those closest to me, I am far too open about personal issues that they believe hold the potential of exposing me to the criticism and judgment of others.
Perhaps it is because I believe that every person that enters my life, whether momentarily or longer, at whatever degree of participation, has done so by divine appointment. They will be recognized as vital contributors to the education that enabled me to fulfill my life purpose.
Now this is a fairly accurate description of my public persona that is readily available to all but there is a part of me that is not as easily recognizable, nor readily available and rarely exposed. A inner place that I have come to believe is an equally important component of myself. In fact, I now believe that because of this inner place, within my being, I creatively developed my persona in order to hide its existence. It is a part of me that I do not volunteer to entertain. There are times, when I can feel a strong demand to enter into it's presence and I am thrust into an emotional state of fear, resisting at all costs it's embrace. It is a place that I have visited without choice, known intimately and by name. It is the Place of My Pain. Pain, rejection, despair in varying degrees experienced throughout a lifetime, but without human capacity to address.
Until recently, when through divine revelation and my love of the written, I was inspired to share with others that which has touched me most , absent of the fear of rejection or judgment. Write about my experiences, successes, failures, dreams, goals, my joy and my pain. In doing so, it is my hope to find personal understanding and healing for myself. For those who generously give of their time to read my stories, it is equally my hope that in some way they may find self-realization and healing of their own, allowing us all to freely move forward towards the fulfillment of our divine and universal purpose.
I plan to bring you a new post every week sharing my stories and the stories of ordinary people who have done extraordinary things. People who have inspired me and I am certain will inspire you. If you are such a person or know of someone please let me know.
I welcome your comments or feedback. Let us, together, create a forum where all can feel free to share their stories, struggles, laughter, pain and victories.
With the highest regard for all,
Cathrine Feehely
Categories: Healing
Tags: weaknesses cathrine feehely failures strengths healing successes
Strengths and weaknesses I have found in myself can change according to the people I meet and the specific situation. Your stories will touch others I am sure. I look forward to reading your blog, Cathrine.
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Thank you so much for your comments on strengths and weaknesses. I do believe that they are determined somewhat by the perspective of the individual. And I agree that they do change in varying degrees based on the relationship or perception we have with each individual.
Your comments have touched and inspired me to move forward. You have my gratitude for taking the time to send them to me. I hope that we will have more opportunities to get know each other better.
All the best,
Cathrine Feehely
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Hi there, I really related to this post. I am almost 53 and have been on a very similar journey for the last couple of years.
This is an exciting time in our lives, and it feels like it's a 'make it or break it' period to me. It's the time to decide whether I want to cruise along, get fatter and more cynical, or keep digging inside for that girl I used to be, the one who sold Grit magazines door to door when she was 10, the one who was smart, funny, and invincible, before I started believing what they teach all women, we are the weaker sex. Bullshit, I say!
Good luck to you in your journey. It's a total bitch sometimes, I know, but it's the most excited I have been in at least three decades!
Have you read "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert? If not, by all means do. You will love it, I think.
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Hello Denise,
Thank you so much for your comments. It is true that it is an exciting time in our lives. We have the ability within ourselves to chose the path we will take. We can choose to start over or make this an turning point taking with us the wisdom we have gained through our experiences.
Interestingly, I went door to door, selling encyclopedias in order to find a way to purchase them for my son. In the early days, if I wanted something, I would join the business and earn it.
If I might suggest something to you, I wouldn't keep digging for the girl you used to be. Find out who you are now! She is has so much to offer. Wisdom, understanding and a more indepth knowledge of what you really want in life. Oh I know, the package may be a little worn and not want you desire, but that can be changed. Your cynicism is based on the belief that who you are today is not worthwhile or valuable. And that is a lie! Because everything you are today, has all the knowledge you need to take the steps that will allow you to move towards your goals and the fulfillment of your life purpose.
I will look up the book you recommended. As for women being the weaker sex, I'd like to think it was the idea of women who used negative marketing in order to lull the opposite sex into a place of false security. Afterall, look what we have accomplished! We have no need to prove our strength, it is evident in all that we are and most men of today do recognize the equality of the sexes. In my case, I happen to think that we are better-but don't tell anyone. Smiles
All the best,
Cathrine
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Hi Cathrine,
Thanks for the insightful post. The anonymity of the internet has a profound way of bringing people closer together than I ever thought possible.
You give so much of yourself through your writing and I really appreciate your thought about how people become an integral part of our lives regardless of the duration of time we're together.
I'm of the same age and we have common threads weaving our lives together.
I wish you all the best,
Theresa
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Hi Theresa!
You are welcome! I wonder if the internet was inspired by God, the Universe to let us all know that even though we are separated by time and space, we are all connected in spirit. That there is a divine power working without ceasing to bring together those of like mind and heart.
I have always enjoyed writing but only did so in response to those who were closest to me. I must confess that this blog is somewhat self-serving in that it has provided me with a platform to do one of the things I love. One never really understands the impact they can have on another through their words whether verbal or written. The impact of your words will be written on my being forever.
Thank you,
Cathrine
I am working on my next story "Baby Boomer Busted", so be sure to check in.
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Catherine- You have quite the gift, in your writing!
I am venturing into the internet in a new way and am loving how it is bringing all of us together, making the world smaller and warmer. God does work in strange ways. This internet deal wouldn't be the strangest.
I look forward to coming back here to read more.
Thanks for sharing, Nancy
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Thank you for the wonderful story. Along this journey called life all of us struggle with knowing and understanding who we truly are, not on the outside, but the inside where our true self hides in order to guard us or at least that is the story we tell. To be truly happy and to be able to forgive and accept others and more importantly ourselves we must go to that spot and look in the mirror and be open enough to truly see the reflection. It took my third near death experience to finally come to terms with myself and be able to cope with the pain in my life.
Your beauty shines through and touches others, carry on!
Chuck Ainsworth aka The Origami Warrior
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Hi Cathrine,
I was touched by your story. You have an eloquent style that draws me in. It reminded me of phone calls I have been on lately. Many are revealing their Place of Pain through this program. This is changing my life in significant and priceless ways.
Reading the feedback from your friends indicates to me that you have a green personality indicated through your weaknesses. Your strengths fit the blue personality. For a better explanation of the different (4) colors of the personality you can download a free ebook at my tiny url site or email me.
I can then email you the section on colors. It sure helped me to see what I was more clearly.
Thank you for the courage to share and bare your life experiences. That brings us closer and makes most of us more human.
Sincere in wishing you the be$t.
Jerry
You asked for others going through the similar experiences.
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Hi Cathrine, I really wish you all the best in your quest for knowledge and for health. Hope I'll be able to help you with knowledge to help you on your way. Bless you.
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Hi Cathrine,
Just back to check the catcha out. This has happened with other sites. I seldom have trouble with letters.
I really like the intent of your blog. I sometimes get preachy but will try to keep it experiential.
Openness is a less than desirable trait in our culture, I've found. So, keep up the good work!
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First of all, you have a very nice template. I love it. Regarding your article, i feel guilty now of myself. These past few days, i was complaining why i can't be happy. I was out of the computer for 2 days because i feel so bad when google kicked me out to their ads. I kept on asking myself, why i am not lucky in this world. Then, i started counting all the bad things happened in my life and didn't count the blessings that i got. Thanks for this inspirational message. You awaken me from sleeping. Looking forward for more stories from you.
Your friend here in the Philippines.
Katherine
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Hi Catherine, I appreciate your willingness to look inward and share your feelings and thoughts. I think to some degree there are many people experiencing times as these, and though we shouldn't resort to self-blame, we should look to understand these things and give them a place in our past.
It brings to mind the bible verse in Proverbs 2 I think about the difference between knowledge, understanding and wisdom being the difference between metals like silver and gold. To me that means the applying of yourself to increase knowledge and apply understanding, and by experience obtain wisdom about it. It one of the blessings I've found because it does not mean we can't overcome the challenges that happen to us.
Also, it's normally my motto to live and learn, and on the way learn to laugh to keep things in perspective. There's also a scripture on that and goes, a merry heart does good like a medicine.
Thanks again for sharing, I'm looking forward to seeing more.
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Cathrine, you could have been describing me in this post. Same - outgoing, bubbly (though I draw the line at perky! LOL), and somewhat overbearing when I think I'm right.
Nice post. I'm looking forward to more!
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Hi Catherine Loved your articleI, I'm into the personal growth and I can see where the subconscious programs have kept me from going forward in my life. I'm building a networkings business and for that to succeed, I need to grow past my old programs. Keep up the good work you're awesome Thanks Naomi
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Hi Catherine, just received you're DM. I've posted on my blog (above) recently, describing a similar process I'm going through!
how interesting!
Raz
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Hi Catherine,
You have touched the essence of all human beings with your story. We are so wonderfully made, yet so alone sometimes at least that is how it feels. I too have known times as yours, yet know also that there is one who sticks closer than a brother. Who holds me up and leads me through the darkness.
God bless you abundantly, your fellow sojourner.
David
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Just subscribed my wife to your site. Thanks for the add on twitter. You are an inspiration
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Good morning Catherine,
After reading your pages, I came to realize even more that the common thread that's woven through us all is that much more real. You had to tap into something within you that has always been there... just never acknowledged. Bear in mind that you've activated this new-found muscle in its atrophied state and look what it's done for you! As with any other muscle, exercising, conditioning and toning will optimize you to your fullest...imagine that!
I'll be eagerly awaiting your upcoming entries!!!
I'm launching my book soon but, I'm posting excerpts here as I progress:
http://thenautilusfactor.wordpress.com/
Ciao for now,
Michael Paragon
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I'm loving your blog! Thanx for finding me on twitter!!!
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Cathy,
Great Blog design e-z to read!
I am sorry to hear your story is becoming all to common in this country. I want to network with you as I feel you give off hope and hope is power WE all can use contact me.
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