BABY BOOMER BUSTED
In my fifties, menopausal, overweight, in debt and now you tell me I no longer have a job. And I need to do what? Start all over again? Have I mentioned that I was tired of the rat race, struggling with the start of each new day, ending in exhaustion with the singular hope that maybe tomorrow would be different.
The following is the story of a hard working Baby Boomer who got Busted!
At 53, one would believe that I would have an established career, be debt-free, accumulated enough savings with investments for a plentiful worry free retirement. And you know what, I came close!
Last year I made the decision to use my savings and take out loans to make some sound investments. Well, we all know what happened to the stock and real estate markets. With the time-lines set for loan repayment looming ahead, it was difficult to comprehend that I had put myself in risk of losing everything. Well, I thought at least I have a job that pays fairly well and if I made some changes everything should be okay. Well, it wasn’t okay.
The unthinkable happened. I like so many others, lost my well paying job due to company restructuring. With no pension, no savings, no other income stream and huge debt, I was devastated.
The humiliation I felt in regard to my decisions, the failure, the loved ones I believed I had let down was more than I could bear. What was wrong with me and why did I seem to keep making the same mistakes?
It was in this dark place of complete solitude, exhausted and surrounded by a sense of hopelessness that my disparity took me to places of thought that was in stark contradiction to my beliefs but somehow now all made sense. Reasoning in dark places is a powerful and persuasive tool.
Uncertain as to where a thought is generated, I started to believe that the only value I had left to repay my debt and give to my loved one’s would be found in my life insurance policies. Need I say more? Accepting that I was a coward, fearing death, I began to pray for courage and ways to make it look like an accident. I reasoned away the residual effect on those who cared for me, with the hope that they would see this as an accident and not a choice, grieve for a time but would have the money I had left them.
To understand how certain events are orchestrated in our lives, will always be for me an exercise of awe. On a day where my only mandate was to put in time, I came across a motivational tape in my email. I decided to listen to it before deleting. The man was talking about the law of attraction sharing his story of losing a loved one, the effect it had, the message he received and how it had changed his life.
His words provoked thoughts about my decisions, the speed and impact of their results which led me to think, if my decisions were that powerful to bring about negative results then, what was stopping me from making new decisions that would generate with equal speed and impact the positive results I desired? Nothing!
I began to see myself, my reality and decisions from a completely new perspective. Was it possible that my decisions had not generated negative results? Was I exactly where I needed to be in order to reach a turning point in my life? Was I being given a new direction that would enable me to move closer towards the fulfilment of my dreams and purpose?
It was at that moment through what might be best described as divine revelation and inspiration, I could feel the stirring of new hope igniting my strength with a refreshed determination to continue on in my journey. Empowered with knowledge and a new understanding, I believed that I could and would conquer all that was before me! The choice was mine.
There are common threads that bind all of humanity. It is the desire to fulfill our dreams and life purpose. We share in the experience of pain, disappointment and disillusionment but amongst the perception of failure, we receive success, know love, joy and happiness. It is within our power to choose what we will focus on and the way in which we will learn our lessons of wisdom.
But what is of up most importance, no matter where we find ourselves, we must believe that it is never too late nor is it beyond our power, to make a decision that will totally change the direction of our lives. To be grateful for all of our life experiences, embracing the knowledge gained to make necessary changes. A change in perspective, our view of ourselves, our circumstances can make the difference between an unfulfilled life and a life filled with joy filled purpose.
It isn’t easy to bring change but it is within our power. I heard once that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, while looking for a change. Change requires a commitment of effort on our part. In the book, the Road Less Travelled, the first three words are “Life is difficult”. For each one of us, the difficulty will come in varying degrees. It is my belief that those who are challenged and overcome the highest degrees of difficulty will also be rewarded with the highest of value.
And I am grateful to be able to say that I am a card carrying member of the group. I am in this journey and I have decided to give it my best shot. I am excited about the unlimited possibilities that my life presents. And so I ask, what will be your decision? Will you join me on this wonderful journey we call living?
All my love,
Cathrine Feehely
Categories: A New Starting Point
Tags: baby boomer cathrine feehely dreams life purpose empowerment goals life journey
Hi Cathrine,
I read this post after receiving a direct Twitter message from you. I figured if you took the time to send me a message about one particular post, it must be a good one.
And I was right. Although I am "only" 38, I too came to a crossroads when depression hit me like a ton of bricks. That's when writing opened up a whole new world for me.
Despite all the trials and tribulations involved when creating a blog, I plugged on because life had handed me an opportunity that I just couldn't pass up.
Thanks for your honesty, and hitting home with this article.
I'd love it if you took a look at my blog at http://www.sosyourlife.com. Feel free to leave a comment!
-MJ
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Oh, have I been there! Luckily, I was fired (that's not the lucky part - well, maybe it is) at a time when freelancing was hitting its peak. I managed to accumulate a lot of industry clout and a lot of contact information before I was marched out the door (saw it coming a month before). I didn't have to sell anything or tap into savings, but I quickly reduced all unnecessary expenses. I had two kids at home yet. And I was single. Oy.
It's a change in perspective, but it's one you need to make. I decided to envision where I wanted to be and how I wanted my career to progress. Once I figured that out, it took putting rubber to the road to get there. Last year was my best ever - including working for someone else.
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Cathrine,
I have been reading Your note. I can feel how You feel and how You are right now.
THis a mean world. But the way You express Yourself, shows that You are a clever woman. You might be having a few problems, but Your head, Your character, Your power and will to live is stronger than ever.
I ma here in Argentina. We have got our problems too and they may be worse than in Your country.
But let me tell You something..... Do You what a makes the human being so powerful ????? The comeback !!!!! And this is Your comeback...with all the success, with all the lessons of life learnt and in Your mind, just not to make the same mistakes twice......
Fight for that and You will be recognized.....You will recognize Yourself as a stronger person, succesful, more positive......
I think ..God knew about this and gave You this chance to improve. You are not here for nothing and You will show it in this successful comeback !!!!!
Yes, You will !!!
My regards from Argentina,
Christian
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Catherine,
I felt your "pain" and frustration. It seems when we think we have life figured out that we get a curve ball thrown at us...especially when we are in out 50's! And I also think - especially for women - entering the midlife gives us a new pause for thought. Life as we knew it changed; our purpose is gone (ie our children are grown and gone; our mates are retiring & don't need our support, etc). So we feel bereft and not sure what's next. I felt like the song from my childhood - "Is that all there is?" Then I realized it's my time - my time to bring my dreams up to the front burner and go for the gold. So welcome to the club - I'm calling it the "Wildly, Wealthy, Wise Women Adventurer's club. Look forward to more of your posts.
Linda
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Hi Cathrine,
Beautiful post! We both arrived at the same understanding of loss, decisions that appeared devastating at the time, and moving forward anyway through the door. How we view the opening will either bring sadness and fear or grace and awe.
Choosing the latter has been an amazing journey the last six years.
My best to you!
Lois
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Cathrine,
As I said in my tweet, I am pretty much the same place you are. I quit my job a year ago because it was making me ill. My savings are about to run out, but I have finally found what I am meant to do. I just need to keep working so that the money starts coming in faster than it is going out.
I think you are just where you are supposed to be, and that if you listen to yourself, and what the universe is telling you, you will find your true calling.
Keep the faith, Baby!
jay
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Cathrine,
Thanks for sharing your well-written life story. I really enjoyed reading it and I look forward to reading more of your articles!
Keep doing what you are doing. Keep giving, keep writing about your feelings, keep reaching out to others and I believe you will attract the right things in your life.
Wishing you great success!
Baby Boomer Photographer
Sherri Meyer
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Has it ever occurred to you that this was the plan of those running the game all along? To switch to cash pensions and force those who had guaranteed retirements into the stock market? To lower interest rates to get people to move their money into the stock market? And then to cause that money to be transferred from the barely haves to the wealthiest few?
Then they lay the blame on the victims: it is all YOUR fault for making bad decisions or choosing the wrong career or not getting enough college degrees. Well it is NOT your fault and none of those things would have made much difference.
I had a REAL pension promised IN WRITING which was illegally converted by a cash pension plan worth only 1/3 as much BEFORE the stock market crashed.
Instead of a full retirement at age 50 after 30 years with full 90% paid health benefits without monthly fees for life we ended up with almost nothing.
When they first converted our pensions, cut our benefits, and downsized until we were exhausted from overwork (on call 24x7 with calls almost every night - called back from vacations, sent home in the middle of schools) I made the decision to resign and have never regretted it for a minute.
I will never have another J.O.B. (Just Over Broke). I have dedicated my life to Jesus, doing what God leads me to do when He leads me to do it. I no longer carry a watch because I operate on G.S.T. (God's Special Time).
Now I give all my time away assisting small businesses and bloggers in proven ways to increase their incomes. Just enough income appears each month to cover my low overhead.
We have not seen the worst yet and I believe there is only one way to be sustained throughout what is to come. Now would be a very good time to make THE most important decision.
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Thank you for having the courage to share with us your feelings of going into the pit, hitting the bottom, experiencing the moment of change, and beginning the rebound. For those of us who are baby boomers, this experience comes in many flavors but is essentially the same story.
Having gone through that process of having lost jobs, friends and things, I began the turn around. I selected business coaching as a way to help others facing some of the same challenges. I love to work with those of us who are baby boomer entrepreneurs seeking to make meaning out of the experiences of life and to still be in the game.
It is very rewarding to show the scars and be able to say "I survived, you can too". We baby boomers can help one another and the generations following behind us. Thanks for sharing your scars though they may still be tender.
Shallie Bey
Smarter Small Business Blog
ps...Thank you for re-tweeting about my blog.
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Catherine:
I came across your blog because a friend of mine on Twitter (@studentoflife) mentioned he was reading this post.
I am completely moved by your post and look forward to learning more of your journey in life.
Thanks for sharing the depths of your soul in this post. As a child of a father who committed suicide, I'm so glad that you have the divine revelation and now you are still here and writing about that despair.
Again, I look forward to further posts!
Michelle Mangen
Owner, Your Virtual Assistant
Twitter: @mmangen
Neenah, WI
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Great post! Although my life's experience has been different from yours, I've also had those 'watershed' experiences. As, I suspect, has every 'boomer'
And you are so right when you say "It is my belief that those who are challenged and overcome the highest degrees of difficulty will also be rewarded with the highest of value."
It's as if those challenging times are the crucible in which our strength and wisdom are finally forged.
And, even though I'd have run a thousand miles in the opposite direction at the time, if I'd known what was around the corner, in the end I know I wouldn't go back and change a thing in my life.
There's a wonderful quotation from Kahlil Gibran, one of my favourites, which reads:
"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain."
So may I wish for you that place where your heart is standing in the sun.
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I Love your blog! IT is absolutely wonderful!
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What a powerful post Cathrine. How did you feel after you had written it? What impact has the process of setting up your blog had on you? I am interested to follow you on this journey.
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"those who are challenged and overcome the highest degrees of difficulty will also be rewarded with the highest of value."
- and the reason for this I believe is that to overcome a challenge one must not succumb to the obstacles associated with that challenge..and one can do so through perseverance and through pursuing personal change rather than accepting environmental change.
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There's something about the 50's that regardless of life's circumstances, many of us are sent on a new journey in which we discover it is time to figure things out and stop making the same mistakes over and over. We talk about this all the time on our website and have put in place opportunities for women to share this journey and not be lost in the darkness of solitude. You are a brave women and I, for one, am grateful that you are sharing your journey.
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Hi Catherine,
There was a reason that you tweeted me (@misscmac) to thank me for recommending you....I needed to read this particular post! I am, right now, going through some seriously tough financial times and I needed to read what you had to say to help empower me, to help me to realize that "it's not over until God says that it's over"! I will overcome! Thank you so much for sharing your story!
You have so very much to offer this world, and it is my prayer that those who need you will find you quickly! Keep on being AMAZING and doing it BIG!
Thanks again for this great post, and be blessed always!
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Hi Catherine
You directed me here from twitter, something in your tweets signalled that I should visit your blog and read your post. I am glad that I did. It is a great,honest and very well written post, thank you, my life is richer for having read it.
I have some understanding of your experience, I too had to start again in my 50's.
Best wishes
Peter
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Wow, I have sat right there with you.
As I read and then re-read your post I again felt those amazing feelings of hopeless wonder and how it seems we have to know the dark to see and experience the light.
When I finally realised that anything other than pulling myself together and being prepared to be responsible for 'me'- was just not acceptable - I found talents and strengths that were just aching for expression.
The circumstances that were forced upon me by the current economic and social climate were in fact the catalyst that forced me into doing what I have always 'wanted to to' and to follow my passion.....writing!!
Through it I have discovered much about me. Especially amazing is how writing helped me to 'express and manage' both real and imagined pain, disappointment, failures and that most personal of looses to a mother - the loss of a son.
One of my now favorite things is 'laughter' something that is now so obviously present in my life, my blogs, my books and my nature.
Catherine, you are an inspiration, I love your writing, your philosophy on women and life and your blog.
Thank you and I will most certainly be visiting again.
Celebrate Life
Lorrette
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Hi Catherine,
I admire your candor and the beautiful way that you express yourself in this blog. As with most of the people who have left comments, this subject resonnates with me at a deep and personal level and it's encouraging to find a 'sister in spirit' who is also choosing to take back the control and move forward.
I'd love you to take a look at my blog: www.Miraklz.com and my site about healing arthritis www.ArthritisHelpforMe.com. I should make a website about how chocolate helps the menopausal single mom of a teenager cope next! Then a diet one!
Good luck to you, keep strong!
Rachel
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